By the time we made it to the DMV in Alexandria, which I should mention here is a very diverse area, the line was literally out the door. We waited 20 minutes just to get our ticket and sit down. We also waited behind a girl who I have affectionately been calling "jammies" because she was not only wearing her pajamas and slippers, but looked like she had JUST rolled out of bed and smelled like she had last showered I don't even know when. Anyways, that is beside the point.
When we got out tickets, we were 37C and 38C. The board showed that they were on 28C. The 18 minute wait came and went. After about 20 minutes we finally found seats together. We quickly learned that there were MANY categories of people being called, in fact, there were A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, M, N, P, R, T, and X. Ridiculous right!
We sat, and sat and sat and saw some REALLY interesting things. Let's start with the girl who sat 2 rows behind us with her mom. She was there for her first license. We didn't hear anything out of her until another young guy sat down next to Caleb. Apparently they went to the same school before she got kicked out and sent to juvy.... o, and by the way, her mom won't let her out of the house until she gives birth to her baby. Whoa....
Next, we'll turn to Mr. Anger Managment. The DMV was set up so that there were about 12 counters at the front and then the rest of the room had chairs sitting and facing the counters so you could see what was happening. This guy was wearing work boots, shorts, a tshirt and a nationals vizer. He had been at the counter about 15 minutes and finally got through all of the paperwork to take his picture for his license. I guess the lady asked him to lower his chin but didn't take the picture fast enough for his pleasure. He voiced his displeasure rather loudly and rudely. The frightened worker then refused to serve him any further. This infuriated him. The manager then got involved. She explained the process to him and asked him to calm down. He was still mad that the other girl would not serve him. As he mouthed off about it being his tax dollars that kept the DMV open to serve him, a US citizen, the manager called for security. Things got really real really fast. As security touched him on the arm, it was like a bomb exploded. Obsenities, racials slurs, I mean EVERYTHING came out of his mouth. I actually remember judging the distance between me in him in case he tried to escape from the security officer/pull a gun. In retrospect, I was overreacting, but it was still incredibly scary and yet entertaining. I think the guy is a moron because he waited 1 1/2 hours, got all the way to the point of taking his picture, and just ended up getting escorted out by security.
We continued to wait. At the 2 hour point, they called my number. Unlike in Texas where all you have to do is show them your driver's license and a local piece of mail, Virginia seriously does a full background check. I had to have: my Tx driver's license, my social security card, my passport, my marriage certificate, and a piece of local mail. Ridiculous. PLUS, once I got to the window, the girl decided that my Verizon service order with my full name and address on it wouldn't work! Luckily, I had prepared for the worst. I brought an old pay stub with our forwarding address on it. She still wouldn't accept it! Because I had done a family forwarding and so it only had "Osborne" as the forwarding name, she couldn't verify it was mine.... EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A PAY STUB WITH MY NAME ON IT! I was about to pull a Mr. Anger Management and freak out on them, when the girl said she would ask her manager. Like I told Caleb, I had waited for more than 2 hours, I wasn't leaving without my license (ironic that is the same phrase that got Mr. Anger Management kicked out).
Luckily, the manager was a reasonable woman and said my verizon work order would work.... either that, or she saw the look in my eye and figured she didn't want to have a repeat and have to deal with Mrs. Anger Management. Next interesting thing about VA licenses.... you aren't allowed to smile! And, they're black and white. At that point, I didn't care. I gave them my best "neutral expression," paid my $30 and walked out the door. Caleb and I are trying not to spend money, but after that we had to go out to lunch and go shopping for a bit.
Anyways, all that story to say that our licenses came in the mail today. I seriously laughed out loud for 5 minutes when I opened them. I don't know if it's that they are black and white, I don't know if it's because we weren't allowed to smile, or if it was all the stress of 2 hours in the DMV, but they look like mug shots. Seriously. Ready to have a laugh?
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