As part of my resolution to blog more often, I want to make it more interactive! Sometimes I feel like I'm writing for nobody, but my stats say people are reading.... SO, now instead of reading in anonymity, I am asking for feedback! Leave comments, they'll make my day!
Let's start with an easy interactive blog post. I need advice...
I LOVE my new job, but it is pretty stressful. I spent 6 hours yesterday working to get one of my boss's blackberry fixed yesterday. Apparently it didn't work and when they walked in this morning, they literally threw it at me. Awesome. Everything is so fast paced that there wasn't really a training period or guide. It's trial by fire, which is intense. For the most part, people are generally willing to be nice and work with me since I'm new. But, there is one co-worker who is just REALLY mean to me! I will keep their identity private, but for the purpose of this blog let's call them Jane.
I think Jane hates me, and I'm not really sure why. One of the reasons they brought me in was to relieve Jane's workload. Jane refuses to help me and then gets mad when I make mistakes. She refuses to respond to my emails and then gets mad when I go ask her the question in person. She "never has time" for me despite the fact that often she is the only person who can help me with whatever task I have. To top it off, she calls me things like "sweetheart" and "honey," which just grates me to my very core.
The 2 weeks I worked before Christmas I just let it go and decided the stress of the holiday season was making Jane particularly grumpy. I've been back 2 days now and by lunch I usually just want to cry. I am KILLING myself to work as hard as I can and do everything as well as I can... I even clean off Jane's lunch plate, run her coffee mug through the dishwasher and dry it by hand, I always answer the phone for her, gosh I even gave up meeting Hillary Clinton so she could go instead! I don't know what else to do!
I've tried the "kill her with kindness" technique and its getting me nowhere. Technically, even though we are the same age, she is my superior so I can't exactly be mean back... Everyone else in the office LOVES Jane, so I can't exactly ask a co-worker for advice. I'm stuck. All I know is that I need some serious advice of what to do, because eventually something is going to give and I'll either make a fool out of myself crying at my desk or I'll get mad and my temper will do/say something that I'll regret later...
So... for all my blog readers out there... what should I do? (for my non-technology savvy people, click on "comments" at the bottom of this post and you can type your response)
Hey! It's Abby, from KD! I love reading your blog, sorry I never commented before, I always read it when you post on fb, I'll start following too! (I have a blog too!) Well, I teach, so my work environment is different. However, there are Janes everywhere in the world. I learned at my fist school I taught at that those kind of people simply just suck, BUT it will catch up to Jane. It did with the Jane I worked with. ha! I didn't do anything though, kind of wish I had, but ultimately you have to be careful about this kind of stuff when it comes to the workplace. Maybe you could ask her to go get coffee or drink after work? Maybe she'd be easier to talk to outside the work environment, you could be more frank with her and ask what the deal is? Also, my other suggestion is to pray :) For her to be kind, and you to find a way to not be miserable at work. Stay positive, it sounds like it can't get worse, so that means it will only get better!
ReplyDeleteHey lady. I had an awful stage manager once on a very small tour, and the situation was compounded by the fact that we were pretty much spending every day together, all day, all the time for four months. She was technically the boss of our situation, even though she was totally incompetent, and she immediately hated me for the fact that I was not and that I ended up doing many of her jobs for her. She literally made my life hell and gave me the worst attitude at all times and I had to handle the situation with tact so that I could try and improve it and so that it wouldn't get worse.
ReplyDeleteAll I could do was pull her aside one day and say I've noticed that there is a bit of tension between us and I apologize if I've done anything that has caused this. I'm happy to do anything to help us work productively and efficiently together, so just let me know what you need. Quick and simple. It sucks to basically make it sound like your own fault when clearly she's just kind of a crazy person. But with that type of personality and an office of people who love her, there's not a much better way to go about it. And I imagine you're not comfortable going to a superior as everybody is rather busy with saving the world and such. It was really scary for me to approach this girl and I imagine it might be for you as well, but remedying the situation is probably better than just killing yourself with frustration every day.
After you mention this to her, I would continue to kill her with kindness for a few more days, and if nothing changes, adjust your behavior to cold office professionalism, keep interactions brief and be as curt as possible without being rude so that you aren't wasting all of your lovely kindness on somebody who won't appreciate it.
This is, of course, just my experience and my opinion, but I hope you find it helpful.
You are amazing for the way you have dealt with her so far! I would have gone crazy a while ago! Sorry, I have no advice, just a big huge pat on the back for making it this far! And I'll be praying for you :)
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